just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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