is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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