Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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