bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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