Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
