if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
