I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
