you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
