PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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