Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
