shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The air taste purple.
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