I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
