the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Every concussion has its silver lining
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
