The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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