waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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