and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I checked into jail on foursquare
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
