Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
