nut hugger
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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