is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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