You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
