with your own penis?
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
