Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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