margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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