I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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