remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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