I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
