Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
