Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
and she was petting her beer can
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
