It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
