You're completely useless in the revolution.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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