4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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