oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
