I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
