Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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