I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
