Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The maid of honor just puked.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
