just come out here and I will go home with you...
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Randomize
