he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Pooping to opera.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
