I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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