I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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