Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
