Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
