no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
