Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
