i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
