Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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