My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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