Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
