how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I need help removing her.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
