k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
